When it comes to defining characteristics of one's personality, being soft and being strong are generally thought of as being opposites. I think that was one of the strangest conclusions that we have come to as a society.
My name is Hayley, in essence, I am a 20 year old woman who just wants to have it all. I want a career, I want to be an involved mother, I want to be a loving wife, and I want to achieve balance in everything that I do.
In my experience, we live in a world where many traits that are considered to be "feminine" are seen to be a threat to the fast paced lifestyle that many American women are currently living. Now is this inherently problematic? No. Do I have a personal problem with that? Most certainly.
I've decided I want to use my extremely feminine presence as a source of strength in every aspect of my life. From my work, to my education, to simply making myself happier. I fully believe that taking care of ourselves, from our daily routines, to our mindsets, will not only increase our contribution to our environment, but increase self-confidence.
Routine
My aunt is one of my biggest inspirations in my life. She is a woman who has traveled the world with her husband, produces her own music, and has taught me so very much on why taking care of oneself should be a top priority.
One of my earliest memories of her, was actually in her bathroom. She was notorious for spending ages getting ready each morning, and as a little girl, this ritualistic morning routine was foreign to me. While visiting her one summer, I watched her apply her makeup and style her hair. I asked her why she felt it necessary to put all of that work in. She chuckled lightly to herself, and told me something which I remember to this very day. She told me that when she invested that time into herself, she felt good, and when she felt good she did good.
As I have grown, I have found this to be true. I have tried so many different things to achieve this little superpower my aunt told me about, and I finally have it down to a science. It makes me feel good. Specifically, I feel confident and composed. I have grown to love my routine, and I believe it is a great way for people to devote a little bit of time to taking care of themselves.
Quality Over Quantity
As an American, I am practically trained to consume. Trends come and go, and come again, and I find myself having wasted unnecessary money on low-quality products.
Being an adult, I have grown to appreciate simplicity in what I own, buying things that I will use, and making things last. The pink polyester-blend mini skirt I bought in 2018? There wasn't anything wrong with it, except that the hems began to fray after three wears, and I didn't bother to replace it since the trend cycle had moved on.
Fast fashion, cheaply made products, overly-processed foods, and ineffective treatments plague our markets. I think it's important to ensure that what we invest money in, are worthwhile. Learning how to make informed and productive purchases takes time, and more research than should be necessary, but I think that creating a space filled with condensed information may be helpful to others who have similar goals.
Protecting Yourself
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. The number one thing you can do to improve your lifestyle and self confidence is learning how to advocate for yourself and your interests.
We will interact with people throughout our entire lives. People may even subconsciously (or consciously, but let's give them the benefit of the doubt) try to cross your threshold of comfort. In all interactions, but specifically when your thresholds are being tested, it is important to know how to identify one's boundaries, and communicate them effectively.
This can be a difficult thing for a lot of people, as to keep peace it is easier to accommodate the requests of others. However, when we do accomodate the requests of others, at the cost of our own comfort, we are doing ourselves a disservice.
Boundaries can be pushed by anyone. Romantic partners, friends, and even professional acquaintances. In my opinion, it is essential to learn how to respectfully enforce limitations to enjoy your own peace.
SaintMuse
This is where my blog comes into play. I want to create a space for women to find out where to start. I want to showcase the tactics I use to preserve my feminine nature, while also carving out a space for myself in modern societies. I want to demonstrate that taking care of yourself, inside and out, is not shallow, but a means to empower yourself. I want to learn from other inspiring women how they do the same. Welcome to SAINTMUSE.
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